Sometimes I
read my posts of the early revolution days and laugh, and at other times I read them and feel sorrowful, but for sure it was an
exceptional, albeit costly, learning experience, not just for me, but for the current generation of
my fellow countrymen. We saw dreams rise and fall before our eyes, something
that not many people in the world did in their lifetimes; most people live and
die with their big national dreams staying the same, just dreams, without materialising
into facts. Some say that whole lifetime experiences that normally span several
decades were compressed into two and half years, the adolescent ambitions, the realization
of the big gap between dreams and reality and the discrepancy between the
future plans of each party forming a coalition, and the disillusionment of
witnessing dreams turning into nightmares.
Sometimes I blame myself for getting carried away with the revolutionary wave and the hopeful spirit like that, and think that I should have known better, but then I recall how all the country’s writers and intellectuals shared in the sweeping euphoria of those days. It was rather foolish to hope one day that democracy and progressiveness could be achieved without secularism. Me, out of everyone, should have known better. There were signs that many of us deliberately ignored during the early days and decided to go through with the revolutionary spirit. This proved costly, and all of us paid the price, some more than others. Of course there are the sole winners, the victorious followers of certain political/religious ideology who ended up achieving what they have been planning for years, these reaped what they, and their allies, sowed for years and decades and their political shrewdness during the transition period proved much superior to the naivety and gullibility of the civil secular parties. It is even questionable that these civil parties, dominated mostly by the left-wing and Nasserists, would have been much better if they reached power.
Sometimes I blame myself for getting carried away with the revolutionary wave and the hopeful spirit like that, and think that I should have known better, but then I recall how all the country’s writers and intellectuals shared in the sweeping euphoria of those days. It was rather foolish to hope one day that democracy and progressiveness could be achieved without secularism. Me, out of everyone, should have known better. There were signs that many of us deliberately ignored during the early days and decided to go through with the revolutionary spirit. This proved costly, and all of us paid the price, some more than others. Of course there are the sole winners, the victorious followers of certain political/religious ideology who ended up achieving what they have been planning for years, these reaped what they, and their allies, sowed for years and decades and their political shrewdness during the transition period proved much superior to the naivety and gullibility of the civil secular parties. It is even questionable that these civil parties, dominated mostly by the left-wing and Nasserists, would have been much better if they reached power.
I can't
believe that my response, during the early days of the uprising, to the question
of what will happen next, was that I don't know and I don't care, and that I
despised those who sought clear future plans. How I was unaware of the monster in
the waiting, a monster who knows exactly what it wants and sets realistic goals
and works towards achieving it, is beyond me now.
After 1 year
it started to become clear, even for a determined revolutionist and proponent of radical change, half a year later it became so obvious and impossible to ignore. Considering
the difference between reality and dreams became a must if we really care about
common people that everyone likes to preach in their name and achieve political
victories on their expense. The poor won’t eat our revolutionary slogans that won't
lead anywhere. Fighting epic lost battles can be morally satisfying for our
egos and the tempting attitude of “us against the world” can be quite seductive
for many but the reality is that there are millions out there who are unwilling to have this fight
and we had to respect and accept that, and accept as well that an overnight
change was impossible expect with a huge cost that almost none of us and most
certainly the common people we talk about are not willing to pay, and that gradual reform is the less
painful alternative specially with the heavy burden of poverty and illiteracy
we are carrying. It was also
lamentable how some activists and many of us were dragged into ridiculing how common
people cared about (trivial) things like food and security rather than
freedom and democracy that global media and international journalists like to think and talk about, and like to believe that all Egyptians fight for them but
that's not the truth, and it's equally fascist, like military and religious
fascism, to decide on behalf of the people.
So what did
I learn? A lot, at times I feel I've grown up 20 years in these last two years which, despite being beneficial hopefully, can be sad in itself. Sometimes I catch myself missing these days when I
believed dreams can come true for a nation, the same way we miss the days of
childhood innocence and the days I believed in a god whom I asked solve my
problems on my behalf.
